My thoughts on another night/meal out ruined by my GF 's inability to avoid controversial topics for restuarant discussion.
Background:- bullshit pseudo French restuarant serving rather poor nouvelle cuisine very badly on north Wales borders (Sebastiannes) in spite of trying. The duck breast is cut up into long slices like a row of used tampons. You cannot imagine how over fussed the entrees were. Wine list almost xenophobically French (only three Italian reds on offer) and fantastically over priced.
Conversation has (initiated by GF) negotiated such dodgy areas as how well child is doing reading (trust me, he's fine) women I allegedly was sleeping with before/at start of our relationship (trust me I wasn't) .... she however went off and shared a 2-man tent around Peru with some guy for a whole month, several weeks into our relationship, and took to being photographed bra-less with amazingly perky nipples in skimpy shorts and damp T shirt .... She would never even consider going bra-less in the house now. Needless to say she demands to be trusted on this one ? .. But it's ok for her to cross examine me of course.
Other fun topics neurotically raised ritually, in same order as per usual - how crap work, pensions, life is; and how shit I am and unlikely to amount to anything.
What I would like to say but haven't-
"I just feel you use these meals out (every single one I can remember) as an opportunity to have an expensive go at me whilst I'm cornered and in public - you seem to delight in nagging me in as direct a way as possible without any thought for my feelings on whatever depressing subject you have chosen to bring up ...
Does anyone else like being performance management reviewed over dinner by their frigid partners ? Whilst paying through the nose at the same time (and having to think of nice things to say about the chef's awful cooking) ?
John doesn't ..... (remember Terry Wogan's little Janet & John tales ?)
How would you feel if I did the same to you whilst you were halfway through our posh meal ?
I'll give you an example:-
One issue that I feel I am displaying immense patience and tolerance towards, is your near total avoidance of intimacy with me; imagine how it would make you feel if every restaurant meal out for the last seven years had included, at some point, this conversation;
"...So when are you going to eventually learn how to pleasure me orally when you're not in the mood for sex for a whole two months ?" (it's about the only thing I would ask her to get her act together on, as requests to desist from being such an uptight neurotic basketcase may offend).
Touché !!
In amongst the hundred or so ways she would force me to change, this hankering of mine for an improvement in sexual intimacy is something that would bolster my willingness to cooperate and assist with her other, many, issues ... But guess what her list item #101 is ?
You got that right !
LESS SEX
Now I know this is not gender based and just as many women will be suffering in similar situations to me (but with neurotic, impotent male partners that won't go down on them and love them there) so please tell me how you would cope with this, thanks.
Putting a brave face on as ever ....
The StopAtHomeDad.
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